


(Odd) Couple

by hariboo



Category: Leverage
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-04
Updated: 2010-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 00:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hariboo/pseuds/hariboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unbetaed fluffy missing scene. Oscar and Felix didn't have these problems. Hardison is having pure thoughts--really he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Odd) Couple

**Author's Note:**

> eta: Changed the titled becuase I never really liked the original.

He's not looking, seriously, he isn't, but fucking hell where in the world did she get that dress? Not that he hasn't seen her in a dress before, that pink thing at the wedding stands out in his memory and that blue number when she kissed him has passed through his thoughts more than once—okay, almost every night, but those had been… well, not at all like what she's wearing now. 

Parker is lithe and light, her curves streamlined, hell, she's practically aerodynamic in a way that's completely hot, but this dress is doing things—magical, amazing things that can only be explained by some sort of girl thing he's clueless about—and just makes every curve she doesn't think she has, um, pop?

God, that even sounds lame in his head. 

But he _isn't_ looking, because this is Parker, and she's his friend, his _platonic_ friend no matter what thoughts he has in the privacy of his apartment. She can also beat him up (and he doesn't hit girls, especially girls that are his friends and have been training with a crazy fucking Texans), not mention they're playing a part. A con. The (_illegally_) tight dress he wants to run his hands over does not change those very important facts.  

Except he's really wishing that they get to makeout on this job too— damnit, he's going straight to hell, isn't he? He's supposed to be a professional! Thinking about his partner--his insane and ridiculously pretty partner, because Parker is pretty, he can admit that--in unprofessional ways can't be good for the job, but she's grimacing and tugging on the hem on the dress like she can't wait to get out of it and... That's a dangerous train of thought to continue, so he doesn't and instead tries to focus on what's she's saying. 

"I feel like stuffed sausage," she pouts, rolling her shoulders like she's looking for escape from the dress' straps.

"Trust me, you don't looking like any kind of meat by-product," he assures her as he fiddles with the latch of her necklace. 

She shimmies in her outfit and he really tries not to follow the movement with his eyes. "Still, I can't wait for this job to be over. Why can't Sophie be here! She likes to dress up, like a girl." She pouts again, but this time there's a genuine sadness in her eyes that Alec doesn't like. 

"Um, Parker, I don't know if you've noticed but you are a girl." He smiles at her, encouragingly, as he motions her to turn around so he can drape the necklace over her neck. 

Parker frowns over her shoulder, "Not like Sophie is." 

Alec is glad she has her back turned to him because he pulls a face, not quite getting. "And what kind of girl is Sophie?" 

"A girly girl. She's likes shiny things and likes to wear high heels. I don't get heels. They make your feet hurt and mess with your centre of gravity. And you can't run in them or climb." She turns and teeters on her own heels as he finishes with her necklace and Alec has to steady her, his hands at her waist.

The dress is soft under his palms, but he's sure Parker would be softer. He doesn't dwell on the fact, much.

"See?" she complains, arms crossed tight around her chest. 

Alec has to grin at her. "Parker."

"What?"

"I don't get heels either, but let me tell as a heterosexual male who has known several women in his time and, may I add, spent six months missing you by mere days—because _damn girl_, you're good"— her lips twitch, adorably, so he finishes— "_and_ besides that you are very pretty, and could give Sophie a run for her money right now. Scouts honor." He puts up his hand in the scout salute, flashing his teeth.

It's weird but with other women it would have felt hella weird saying any of that, but this Parker, and dress or no dress of magic-making-curves, she's still Parker. For them weird is normal.

"You're not lying, are you?" she blurts out, very Parker like, not even pausing to let him answer, "because if you're lying to get me relax for the job, it's not working very well."

"Not lying."

"Promise?"

"Hey, didn't I say scout's honor?"

"Okay, good," she nods, sharply, and presses her lips together. "The dress is still useless. It has no mobility, what if I need to crawl through a vent." 

Alec shakes his head and nudges her with his hip, "I'll keep a change of clothes for you in the van just in case." 

This time she brightens right up and maybe his chest swells up a little. Maybe. 

"Plus, you're not the one that has to wear the ugly ass outfit right out a bad rap video. You look way too good for me." He points out, plucking at the gold chains that are paying an homage to Mr. T around his neck. 

Parker laughs, bright and loud, shoving him in that awkward way of her he finds completely endearing. "We're like the odd couple!" 

Alec considers pointing out that the odd couple are a couple of old dudes, but Eliot walks into the room.

"You two are something all right," Eliot grumbles as eyes them. "Hey, Hardison if you're done ogling Parker, maybe you should get your ass in gear." He pauses, "Parker, you look nice."

Hardison narrows his eyes at Eliot and huffs, "I'm not ogling." Next to him Parker beams and then shifts uncomfortably, tugging at her dress again.

Eliot shrugs, "Yeah, whatever, just keep it in your pants until the job is over."

For some reason Alec is sure he doesn't get, Parker starts to laugh that giant laugh of hers again and leans into his side. His arm instinctively goes to her waist and she slaps his chest. Alec grins. Eliot can bag on him all he wants, this job is going to be _awesome_.


End file.
